When Imagination Becomes an Inexplicable Reality: My First Astral Journey

Disbelief and Self-Questioning

It is a beautiful, warm, sunny day on Golija Mountain. I am at my second shamanic retreat. A beginner, still trying to figure out where he is and what happened to him. Ever since we arrived on the mountain, I have been listening to the senior disciples' stories with deep distrust. All the time, I am weighing their words on my inner old two-pan balance. One pan measures their deep self-deception, the other their conspiracy to deceive the few of us new disciples. To deceive us for reasons that even I cannot come up with, though I persistently try searching. That way I could justify my suspicions.

After several days of performing basic shamanic practices and crisscrossing dozens of kilometers across Golija’s steep slopes, the time came for my first "Astral." Astral — that is what we call our astral journeys for short. It is an archaic, symbolic name for what science today knows as OBE or OOBE — Out-Of-Body Experience.

A Wondrous World Out of Reach

Goxy, who is older than me and a very experienced shaman, leads me on my first journey. He is a former special forces member, rigorously trained, a longtime practitioner of shamanism, and someone who makes his living from magic. All of that inspires deep respect in me as a beginner — along with a bit of fear. But his broad smile inspires trust and eases the tension. I am excited, though I hide it to keep up my image as a "cool guy." Finally, something very challenging is about to happen. For us beginners, astral journeys represent a higher level of achievement. The journey of consciousness into other realms. Wow! Something we have heard about from our teacher and the more experienced disciples, but which has remained out of our reach. Until now.

Imagination or Reality?

The two of us settled in comfortably, each in our own bed. Outside the cottage, the voices of Doctor Wolf, our teacher, and the other disciples could be heard. (His name “Vuk” literally means wolf.) Goxy guided me through a detailed relaxation of my body and mind. I followed him carefully, doing everything he said, like a true overachiever. After ten minutes or so, my body was completely relaxed, and he led me into a heightened state of consciousness.

We began with a guided meditation. "You are walking slowly through a desert." He guided me with his narration, and I imagined it. "It is sunny; you are walking barefoot. You feel the hot sand under your feet." I tried to visualize the image and imagine the physical sensations as best I could. I was sinking deeper and deeper into the narrative. I have a strong imagination, and it came easily to me. I began to feel the sand and the heat of the sun. My mind worked tirelessly, running parallel to the flow of events. It questioned everything that was happening. So far, everything is clear to me — this is just my imagination following the guidance. There is nothing surreal here. Everything is under control.

A Rollercoaster of Confusion and Disbelief

At one point, Goxy stopped speaking. He was silent for a while. I became aware that I was standing still inside my imagination — I was no longer walking through the desert. I don't even know why I had stopped, since Goxy hadn't given such a command, but there I was, standing. Then something unexpected happened — I felt myself falling through into the sand! I literally felt the heat of the sand rising from my feet, up over my calves and higher, while I was sinking down.

I was very surprised and confused. The sensation was entirely real. This was not imagination; it was not my visualization. It was a real feeling. But what confused me much more was the order of events. First I sank, and only then did Goxy say: "Actually, you are no longer walking. You have fallen through into the sand." My mind threw itself into a rollercoaster of questioning, trying to find a rational explanation. How did Goxy know that I had fallen through? No, how did I fall through before he said it? No, wait, hold on! What just happened? Maybe he is reading my thoughts? Is he controlling my experience? Maybe this is just a coincidence? But the sequence of events quickly brought me back from the carousel of the mind into the inner experience.

A Walk Through the "Lower" World

I fell through the sand into a dark, boundless space beneath the sand. I felt myself floating in it. The heat of the sand was gone. I had no sense of gravity at all. Chills began to take hold of me. I realized that this was the shamanic "Lower World." The realm of the dead. I could not see an end wherever I looked, yet I had the strange impression of a kind of energetic boundary a few dozen meters above and a kind of bottom farther down. But that was only a vague impression, and perhaps completely wrong.

I began to feel the presence of other beings. I saw some of them as they passed by — or rather, "floating by" me. They looked like silhouettes; I didn't see them clearly. I began moving through that space and exploring. The discomfort still held me, but I felt foolish returning "above" without having seen or experienced anything "down there," simply because I curled up in some corner out of fear. And besides, there was no corner to hide in anyway. A few beings came up to look at me inquiringly, though without much curiosity. They continued on their way. No one touched me or disturbed me. Mostly, peace and silence prevailed. And so I wandered aimlessly, the whole time with a feeling of strong uncertainty and a mild uneasiness. I didn't see or experience anything else in particular.

The Return and the Searching Gaze

After some time, Goxy called me back into my body. His voice was an anchor to the reality of "this" world. Suddenly I was in my body, here and now. The journey I had just made seemed to me like a stay in another world, one where different rules apply. And the feeling of it is fundamentally different from "this here," the normal one. "How was it?" Goxy asked, with a broad, searching smile. He gave me a piercing look. It took me a little time to pull myself together and tell him about the experience.

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I write regularly. About esoteric experiences — shamanism, astral journeys, inorganic beings, inner work, and spirituality.

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